Corey Patterson, 2007 Topps #22

Remember the days when baseball dugouts weren't plastered with advertisements and logos? Today I posted Tim Hulett's card on my 1993 Topps blog, and I was almost surprised by how bare the visitors dugout looked in the background. Compare that to the Corey Patterson card above, which seems to be sponsored by New Era. I guess this is the way of things. Two decades ago, rotating signs on the backstop were an affront to the eyes, but at some point we probably stopped noticing them. Eventually, there will be ads on player uniforms, and we'll all adjust to it, or else feebly complain to nobody in particular. There's money to be made.

Corey Patterson, 2006 Upper Deck #528

Tonight's results notwithstanding, Corey Patterson has been having a great time making my last blog entry about him look dumb. The O's won their first three games with him back in the lineup, and he had leadoff hits to ignite rallies in each game. He threw out the tying run at home plate to end a thrilling 6-5 win over Seattle on Thursday, and had three hits, a walk, and robbed a home run from Shin-Soo Choo in last night's 8-1 victory over the Indians. It's almost like he wants to stick around or something. If he keeps it up, Corey can stay as long as he likes.

Corey Patterson, 2007 Topps Opening Day #44

I've been anticipating this post for at least a week, but it still feels weird. Corey Patterson has returned. The simple fact that Corey and his .290 career on-base percentage are back, much less that he's being counted upon as a breath of fresh air by some, tells you in a nutshell just how poorly the season is going in Baltimore. Still, he's a good baserunner and a strong fielder, both of which are in short supply on this club. No one expects him to hit .368 as he was at AAA Norfolk, but even if he hit 100 points below that he would be miles above most of his new teammates...

...Including Lou Montanez, who must have photos of Andy MacPhail in a compromising position. I understand that Nolan Reimold was demoted so he could continue to get steady playing time and hopefully regain some confidence, but I don't see why Lou couldn't join him on the shuttle bus. He's a 28-year-old minor league veteran who has four singles in 35 at-bats. That's a .114 average to go with a .253 OPS (-30 OPS+). You can't tell me that any AAA outfielder at random couldn't give the Birds something more than that.

If there's anything that concerns me about Corey Patterson II: The Coreying, it's that Diamond Dave Trembley won't be able to resist the urge to bat him leadoff. Hey, he's a fast, slightly built guy, so naturally he bats first, right Dave? Ugh. Yes, the O's miss the steady presence of Brian Roberts at the top of the order, but I'd love it if the skipper could keep a guy with a sub-.300 OBP down low where he belongs. Corey's unfitness for the leadoff position has even been immortalized in t-shirt form.

By the way, Corey Patterson is batting first tonight. Ouch. Prove me wrong, ol' pal.

Corey Patterson, 2006 Upper Deck SP Authentic #2

The Orioles are doing a lot of things right on an organizational level, and there are reasons to be optimistic about the future. Some of those reasons (Reimold, Wieters, Jones, Markakis, Bergesen) are already taking the field in the present. Others (Tillman, Matusz, Arrieta) will be here before you know it. But that doesn't mean that it's easy to watch the current team night in and night out, enduring ugly road trips like the 1-5 swing through Seattle and Oakland last month and infuriating games like July 1st's ninth-inning meltdown against Boston. But when the Birds make me despair, there's always the Nationals.

I can't really explain what draws me to our poor red-clad Beltway cousins, other than to chalk it up to sweet schadenfreude and a healthy appetite for a good trainwreck (I've wasted good hours watching cinematic horrors such as the Nic Cage Wicker Man remake and The Conqueror, starring John Wayne as Genghis Khan. Really.). But even the shameful joy of watching the pretenders to the region's baseball throne fall flat on their faces night after night just doesn't cover it. It's the manner in which they lose. You undoubtedly know that the Nats are in hot pursuit of the 1962 Mets and their record of 120 losses. They certainly deserve to go down in history, because they've got failure down to an art form. Consider:

-They've lost a game to a reliever who did not throw a single pitch.

-They were beaten in extra innings by the Orioles, thanks to a rally ignited by skilled hitter Danys Baez.

-The bullpen has combined for 8 wins and 30 losses, with just 14 saves. Their collective ERA is a putrid 5.61. Five of the 23 pitchers the team has used have earned run averages better than the league average, and two of those have pitched less than ten innings each.

-Their leading home run hitter, Adam Dunn, has gone deep 24 times. Washington has just 26 wins. No player has had more home runs than his team has had wins in a season.

-The Nats have peaked with a four-game win streak. Unfortunately, they've also had two five-game losing streaks, a six-gamer, and two seven-game skids.

-They've lost in rain-shortened games that lasted five, six, and seven innings. They've lost extra-inning games that went ten, eleven, and twelve frames.

-Twice I've seen Washington lose close games due to dropped foul balls followed immediately by the victimized pitcher surrendering a crucial hit. (They've committed 88 errors in 91 games, leading to 54 unearned runs.)

I could go on and on, but I'll stop there (other than noting that just now, I turned on MASN2 just in time to see the awful Jeff Francoeur hit a massive home run off of anonymous Nats reliever Logan Kensing). I also feel a particular sense of ownership of this rudderless ship of a baseball team, since three ex-O's made their awful mark in D.C. in very short stints with the club:

-Corey Patterson has spent most of the year soaking up the sights and sounds of Syracuse, but during a five-game stint in the nation's capital he managed two hits in fifteen at-bats (.133) with six strikeouts and (shock of shocks) no walks. His OPS+ was -29.

-Clumsy shortstop Alex Cintron inexplicably was allowed to appear in 21 games, in which he went 2-for-26 (.077) with no extra-base hits. He "topped" Corey with a -39 OPS+.

-Daniel Cabrera...whooaaa boy. No wins, five losses, 48 hits in 40 innings (not to mention a 16-to-35 strikeout-to-walk ratio), a 5.85 ERA and 2.075 WHIP. Oh, and 10 wild pitches. He still leads the league in that category nearly two months after his release! Plus, he went 0-for-11 with two walks (how?) and nine strikeouts, leaving his career batting line at zero-for-25 with 23 K's.

-Utility player Willie Harris, who started his MLB career with nine games for the Birds in 2001, has actually been something of a bright spot, working a .362 on-base percentage in 69 games and going 9-for-10 in stolen bases while filling in at all three outfield spots as well as second and third base. But just the idea that Harris is one of the reliable bats should tell you something.

So, should the O's slip into another late-season malaise this year, just remember that it could be worse...much, much worse.

Corey Patterson, 2007 Topps Heritage #79

Corey Patterson is staring into an uncertain future. He can only make out bright lights and fuzzy shapes, so he squints to protect his eyes. Though this picture was most likely taken in 2006, it could very well have been taken today. Corey has been a free agent since season's end, and despite his relatively young age (28) and two okayish seasons in Baltimore following his rock-bottom 2005 performance with the Cubs, he is still on the market with a few weeks to go until Spring Training.

I don't feel too badly for Corey. His agent is the dreaded Scott Boras, so he'll get paid sooner or later. After all, his defense in center field is graceful and exciting at once, and he hits enough to keep his bat in the lineup. Although he's allergic to walks, he's cut his strikeout rates nearly in half from 2005-2007. Plus, he steals lots of bases, which is enticing to the non-Moneyball set.

Still, it has to be somewhat humbling to sit idly by and watch the other, more high-profile players at your position sign big contracts. First Torii Hunter, then Aaron Rowand and Andruw Jones. Heck, the White Sox and Braves appear to be filling their vacancies in center field through trades (Nick Swisher and Mark Kotsay). You or I would probably feel anxious if we went for three or four months without knowing where we'd be working in the upcoming year.

With the possibility of trading Brian Roberts or Erik Bedard for a package of younger players including a center fielder diminishing by the day, it looks more and more likely that Corey Patterson will call Camden Yards home for at least one more year. I think I'd be up for that. No matter what happens, I hope he finds what he's looking for.