Luke Scott, 2011 Topps Allen and Ginter #78

On Saturday, June 25, 2016, at 10:03 AM, Finn Caleb Brotzman was born. Seven pounds, seven ounces, 21 inches long. He is as healthy as can be, and his cleft lip has no palate involvement, so he'll only need one surgery to correct the lip. The 28.5 hours that crawled by between the time we checked in to labor and delivery on Friday morning and the moment that our son took his first breath the following morning were full of restlessness and anxiety. Janet and I are both still exhausted, but it was all worth it.

During our stay in labor and delivery and postpartum, we watched at least parts of all four games of the Orioles' home sweep of the Rays, so Finn's life as an O's fan is off to a charmed start. He has a motley assortment of Birdland Birthday Buddies: Luke Scott, turn-of-the-century reliever Ryan Kohlmeier, and 1977 bullpenner Dick Drago. I know you'd probably like to read several paragraphs about Dick Drago, but instead I'll distract you with baby pictures. Enjoy!

Zach Britton, 2011 Topps Allen and Ginter #97

Sheesh. Spoiler alert: no Orioles in today's six packs, so I had to recycle the above image of Zach Britton. Now, are you ready for MORE GINT-A-CUFFS? Don't worry, I'll end it all tomorrow. The box break, I mean. Not my life. It's not THAT bad.

PACK 13


53 Chipper Jones
300 Ryan Braun - Dude's 15 months younger than me. Hello, my own creeping mortality.
114 Brandon Phillips - Love this guy. Can't believe the Indians traded him to Cincy for some pitcher named Jeff Stevens.
77 Rafael Furcal

AGR-BG Brett Gardner Bat Relic +10 Relic, x0.5 Yankee player = +5 total. DOUBLE TURDS.
239 Brett Myers Mini Base - And a dud mini of a wife-beater. Joy.

HH70 Troy Tulowitzki Hometown Heroes (Sunnyvale, CA) +1 Hometown Heroes, +2 Any Favorite Player = +3 total.


Pack 13 Total = 8 points. Box Total =106 points. Unlucky number 13. What did I do to deserve that putrid pack?

PACK 14

66 Starlin Castro +2 Any Favorite Player
113 Miguel Montero
214 Elvis Andrus

BHS-8 Cody Ross Baseball Highlight Sketches +3 The back of this card references game-winning RBIs, specifically the four that Ross had in the Giants' first seven playoff games. Goofy 1980s stats for the win.

AGR-MC Matt Cain Jersey Relic +10 Relic - That's more like it. My favorite color and everything!
94 Josh Rodriguez RC Mini Base - Back-to-back no-point minis. Grumble.

HH Jimmy Rollins Hometown Heroes (Oakland, CA) +1 Oaktown! Joe Morgan and Frank Robinson are mentioned on the back, but not Oakland native and former A's employee Hammer. Shame.

Pack 14 Total = 16 points. Box Total = 122 points. The best pack of the box yet, points-wise. Will I pull hits in three straight packs?

PACK 15


195 Tommy Hanson
154 Todd Helton
111 Pablo Sandoval - Can't get enough of the Kung-Fu Panda.
232 Picabo Street - For you whippersnappers that don't remember this Olympic skiing medalist, her name is pronounced "peek-a-boo". Aren't you glad your parents were boring?
59 Jeremy Jeffress RC

350 Joe Mauer SP +2 Short Print

UG3 Waverly Hills Sanatorium Uninvited Guests Mini +3 Creepy little ghost girl? Thousands of deaths? Louisville? Doesn't sound like my ideal vacation spot.

MMF22 Ada Lovelace Minds That Made the Future +2 Lord Byron's daughter apparently programmed an early computer. But her dad was accompanied to college by a dancing bear. Which was the more enduring contribution to humankind?

Pack 15 Total = 7 points. Box Total = 129 points. Fair-to-middlin', but I can feel the prize slipping away.

PACK 16

285 Alex Rios
57 Derek Jeter -1 Yankee card - It figures. Five zillion Yankee fans roaming the Earth, and not one of you could join this contest and claim your Captain as a Favorite Player.

256 Hunter Pence +2 Any Favorite Player - Thank you muchly, CommishBob!
209 Guy Fieri- Urgh. Just threw up a bit. If you're blessed enough not to know this clown, allow me to ruin your night.

AOM9 Placoderms Ascent of Man +1 - Armored, sharp-toothed fish? Thank goodness they're extinct. Nature, you scary.

303 Jaime Garcia SP +2 Short Print
227 Lucas Duda Black Bordered Mini +3 I will NOT sing Camptown Races...
HH50 Josh Hamilton Hometown Heroes (Raleigh, NC) +1 Hometown Heroes, +2 Any Favorite Player = +3 total. I like.
Crack the Code Ad Card

Pack 16 Total = 10 points. Box Total = 139 points. If you count the Jeter penalty, six of those eight cards  were worth points. That's not something you see often.

PACK 17


199 Jake Peavy
144 Jorge Posada -1 Yankee card - Flames...flames...on the sides of my face...
64 Ricky Romero
263 Mark Trumbo RC - That's a fun name to say. TRUMBOOOOO
201 Andrew Romine RC

347 Josh Thole SP +2 Short Print - I was starting to think I was going to lose points on this pack.

143 Carlos Zambrano A&G Ad Back Mini +2 Welcome back, Old Planter.

HH53 Justin Verlander Hometown Heroes (Manakin Sabot, VA) +1


Pack 17 Total = 4 points. Box Total = 143 points. That sure was an equalizer to all that went on in the last pack.

PACK 18

62 Alfonso Soriano
50 Carl Crawford - I wish my Birthday Buddy hadn't joined the Pink Hats in Boston. Makes it much harder to like him.
175 Jose Bautista - 85 home runs in his last 252 games. Ridiculous.
169 Dan Haren

AGR-PS Pablo Sandoval Bat Relic +10 Relic Card - Any Giants fans want to make a deal?

SRU6 The Human Blockhead Step Right Up! Mini +3 I'm sorry, is something wrong with his face? I was busy admiring the handlebar mustache and pointy beard.

HH5 Chase Utley Hometown Heroes (Long Beach, CA) +1


Pack 18 Total = 14 points. Box Total = 157 points. Bob is in the lead with 232 points. With all three hits already pulled, what are the odds that 78 points are waiting for me in the last 6 packs? 13 points a pack? The fat lady is warmin' up.

Derrek Lee, 2011 Topps Allen and Ginter #269

Here comes packs 7 through 12. A few Gint-A-Cuffs pugilists have posted their total scores, and it looks like I'm going to have to pick up the pace.

PACK 7


1 Carlos Gonzalez - I hate the lazy shortened-name monikers so many players have. "CarGo" is no exception.
265 Buster Posey
39 Stephen Drew - Yipes. All three guys are currently injured, the last two on gruesome plays at the plate.

235 Cole Hamels +2 Other Favorite Players. Saved by Dan's Philly fandom.
112 Timothy Shieff
190 Sue Bird - Not much of a WNBA fan, but I've always found her attractive.
123 Rajai Davis Mini Base - Yep, already have two variations of Rajai's mini card. Any Rajai Davis supercollectors out there?

HH20 David Price Hometown Heroes (Murfreesboro, TN) +1
Allen and Ginter Official! Deluxe Binder Offer Card - Interesting. Shades of the old Topps puffy sweatshirt offer cards.

Pack 7 Total = 3 points. Box Total = 60 points. Sensing a trend in the last four packs: 11, 8, 4, 3. No sir, I don't like it.

PACK 8

58 Alcides Escobar
269 Derrek Lee +1 Favorite Team - Hm, I wonder how Derrek played today? 1-for-3 with a strikeout. Still OPSing under .700. But at least I'm getting some use out of him.
212 Aramis Ramirez
276 Desmond Jennings RC - Just got called up this weekend. It's about time.
293 Royal Wedding: Prince William and Kate Middleton - OMG OMG OMG Be still my heart.

328 Chris Johnson SP +2 Short Print

SRU8 The Strongman Step Right Up! Mini +3

MMF28 Guglielmo Marconi Minds That Made the Future +2 According to Milhouse Van Houten, the first message Marconi sent on his radio-signaling system was, "I want-a change-a my name-a!".

Pack 8 Total = 8 Points. Box Total = 68 Points. Getting better. If only the Commissioner were a fan of insanely overhyped fairy-tale nuptials.

PACK 9

268 Dallas Braden
89 John Axford - Creative facial hair without all the hype of Brian Wilson. Thumbs up.
243 Mike Nickeas RC - Who?
180 Kyle Drabek

AOM21 Australopithecus Ascent of Man +1 Say that five times fast!

333 Carlos Lee SP +2 Short Print

344 Danny Valencia SP Mini +3 Short Print Mini - Oh, Danny Boy...

HH38 Andre Ethier Hometown Heroes (Phoenix, AZ) +1
Crack the Code Ad Card

Pack 9 Total = 7 points. Box Total = 75 points. At least I'm getting better at avoiding the Yankees.

PACK 10

156 Marlon Byrd - He plays for neither the Marlins nor the Birds. Discuss.
117 Jonathan Sanchez

136 Dick Vitale +1 Personally, I'm tired of "Dukie V" and his shtick, but if the Commissioner deems him point-worthy, I shall not argue.
148 Sanya Richards

AOM18 Homininae Ascent of Man +1 With "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" hitting theatres in a few weeks, I'm keeping an eye on this guy.

340 Ryan Zimmerman SP +2 Short Print

PP1 Antonio Meucci Portraits of Penultimacy Mini +3 As pointed out by dayf, those clowns at Topps don't even know what "penultimate" means!

MMF23 Florence Nightingale Minds That Made the Future +2
Another stinkin' Crack the Code Ad Card


Pack 10 Total = 9 points. Box Total = 84 points. Movin' right along.

PACK 11

192 Carl Pavano
49 Javier Vazquez - It's a tag team of pitchers that make Yankee fans break out in hives!
162 Mat Latos
51 Tim Collins - He's only 4'10". Okay, 5'7". Still tiny.

97 Zach Britton RC +1 Favorite Team - Awesome! Imagine how excited I'd be to pull this card if Zach hadn't succumbed to the wasting virus that has infected all of the Orioles' young pitchers this year.

332 Luke Hochevar SP +2 Short Print - No additional points for his last name sounding like "ho shaver".

305 Justin Morneau SP Mini A&G Ad Back +3 Short Print Mini, +2 A&G Ad Back Mini = +5 total

HH80 Cliff Lee Hometown Heroes (Benton, AR) +1 Apparently "He's in close competition with actor/director Billy Bob Thornton as the most famous 'alum' of the city". However, Thornton is the only one of the pair who makes me nauseous, so that's something.

Pack 11 Total = 9 points. Box Total = 93 points. Back-to-back nines? Makes me nervous about the next pack.

PACK 12

245 Brian McCann

120 Adrian Gonzalez +2 Any Favorite Player
115 Shin-Soo Choo - With an injury-riddled, subpar season, he's been brutal for my fantasy team. Plus he had a DUI, so all in all, a great effort.
106 Jonathan Broxton
7 Mickey Mantle -1 Yankee Player - Thank you, Topps, for your downright embarrassing hagiography of this guy.
107 L. L. Zamenhof - Apparently he invented the Esperanto language. His mini card is worth 2 points, but no dice for the base card. What gives, Commissioner?

WMF5 D. B. Cooper World's Most Mysterious Figures Mini +3

HH3 Brian Wilson Hometown Heroes (Londonderry, NH) +1 This goober's from New Hampshire? Somehow that sounds right.

Pack 12 Total = 5 points. Box Total = 98 points. At the halfway point, I'm still waiting on the big hits, which gives me some optimism for the coming days.

Adam Jones, 2011 Topps Allen and Ginter #264

Okay, the rules are out, so let the wild Gint-A-Cuffs rumpus begin! I'm going to try to knock this out in four posts this week, six packs per post. Onward and upward!

BOXTOPPER

CB-5 Alex Rodriguez Baseball Highlights Cabinet Card: A-Rod Does It A-Gain, for the 600th Time - Bleah. Not the kind of start I wanted. This one is up for trade, Yankee fans. That's +8 for the Cabinet, -1 for the Yankee = 7 points

PACK 1

229 Juan Pierre
250 Ichiro - I'm surprised none of the participants picked Ichiro as their favorite player. East Coast Bias?

197 Jay Bruce +2 Other favorite player
153 Scott Cousins - BONECRUSHER!

324 Domonic Brown SP Code Card +2 short print, +3 Ginter Code = +5 total

BHS-10 Ryan Howard Baseball Highlight Sketches +3

312 Cody Ross SP Mini Base +3 short print mini parallel

HH36 Gordon Beckham Hometown Heroes (Atlanta, GA) +1 I can't believe there's not a single freaking Oriole in this whole 100-card insert set. I mean, did the world need another Slobba Chamberlain card?

Pack 1 Total = 14 points. Box Total = 21 points. That was a damn good pack, I think. I certainly wouldn't have expected it after leading off with Juan Pierre.

PACK 2


90 Roy Halladay - I have Roy on my fantasy team. Adam Jones said he was glad that Doc isn't in the A.L. East any more, and I would agree with him.
185 Justin Upton

23 Aubrey Huff 

31 Jimmy Rollins - Sheesh, I should have picked the Phillies as my favorite team.

10 Miguel Cabrera

21 Logan Morrison Code +3 Ginter Code

123 Rajai Davis Mini A&G Back +2

#HH65 Adrian Gonzalez Hometown Heroes (Chula Vista, CA) +1 Hometown Heroes, +2 Favorite Player = +3 total. I've been to Chula Vista. Had my first-ever In n' Out Burger there. Delicious.

Pack 2 Total = 8 points. Box Total = 29 points. A bit of a downturn there.

PACK 3

130 Robinson Cano -1 Yankees player. Aww, ratfarts.

220 Prince Fielder

102 Wandy Rodriguez

83 Mat Hoffman - A BMX stunt rider. He lost the second "t" in a nasty accident.

272 Wee Man - If he was French, would he be Oui Man?

302 John Buck SP +2 short print

126 Jair Jurrjens Mini A&G Back +2 - I think it's impossible to say his name without sounding drunk. Try it!

FF5 Sovereign of the Seas +2 Floating Fortresses

Pack 3 Total = 5 points. Box Total = 34 points. Stupid rassumfrassum Yankees.

PACK 4

252 Omar Infante

137 Carlos Beltran

264 Adam Jones +1 Favorite Team, +4 My Favorite Player = +5 total. Thanks a bunch, Dr. Jones!

286 Cory Luebke

151 Brandon Beachy - Hacky headline writers must love this guy.

343 Drew Stubbs SP +2 Short Print

WMF1 Rasputin World's Most Mysterious Figures Mini +3 As a bearded man myself, this is an early entry for my favorite card in the set. Glorious.

HH56 Brett Anderson Hometown Heroes (Stillwater, OK) +1

Pack 4 Total = 11 points. Box Total = 45 points. Knowing my luck with pulling Orioles, it's amazing that Adam Jones was in this box. I would've looked really dumb if I failed to get my designated favorite.

PACK 5

98 Jason Bay

18 Daniel Hudson - My high school physics teacher was named Dan Hudson. He was a squirrelly little guy with shoulder-length hair. He looked so young (he was 26 at the time) that the lunch ladies didn't believe he was a teacher.

260 Alex Rodriguez -1 Yankees - Turds!

28 John Lindsey - I think it's awesome that this guy, who made his big league debut last year at age 33, gets an A&G card.

149 Lars Anderson RC

#BHS-3 Starlin Castro Baseball Highlight Sketches +2 Other favorite player, +3 Baseball Highlight Sketches = +5 total

AP2 Mountain Gorilla Animals in Peril Mini +3 I got Rasputin and a gorilla in consecutive packs. The rest of this box is gravy.

HH74 Jayson Werth Hometown Heroes (Springfield, IL) +1 Did you hear that a DC-area bar is selling draft beers for prices equal to Werth's batting average? $2.18 is almost a good price for a Bud.

Pack 5 Total = 8 points. Box Total = 53 points. As if I needed another reason to despise the Yankees.

PACK 6

297 Travis Hafner

17 Jonathan Papelbon - I hate this guy so much, I'm tempted to deduct points from myself.

25 Nelson Cruz

60 Brandon Belt RC -The Giants playing Huff over Belt is about as dumb as the Orioles playing Felix Pie over Nolan Reimold.

188 Daniel Descalso RC

113 Miguel Montero Code +3 Ginter Code

149 Lars Anderson RC Mini Base - Rookie card hot pack!

HH26 Torii Hunter Hometown Heroes (Pine Bluff, AR) +1


Pack 6 Total = 4 Points. Box Total = 57 Points. Woof.


Alright, I've fallen behind in my blog-reading, so I have no idea where I stand at the quarter-point of my Gint-A-Cuffs entry. I guess that's just more suspense!