B.J. Ryan, 2004 Topps Total #532

On the list of things you don't expect to see in your email, "Dan Duquette is now following you on Twitter!" is right up there. But it's true. New Orioles GM (okay, VP for Baseball Operations) Dan Duquette is subscribed to my tweets. His username is @danduquette (go figure), if you'd like to check him out. I'm sure it was as much a courtesy as anything else; he does follow 1,678 others. But on the off chance that Dan is actually reading my tweets, and maybe checking in on the blog, just allow me to say: please don't give any multi-year, high-dollar contracts to free agent relievers. Don't forget about B.J. Ryan, Danys Baez, Mike Gonzalez, Kevin Gregg, and the rest of the Bullpen Chambers of Horror. I'm sure you're smart enough to know that already, but I thought the same of Andy MacPhail. Enjoy your time in Baltimore!

Buddy Groom, 2004 Topps Total #526

I will never get tired of photographs depicting the dumb expressions on pitchers' faces when they're captured in mid-pitch. Buddy Groom looks like he's having an aneurysm...or a severe bowel movement. Either way, it's not good.

Eric DuBose, 2004 Topps Total #342

Okay, I'm back in town but I'm digging out from the backlog of the past week: 786 posts to read in my RSS feed, a stack of laundry to be done, and...oh, my roommate moved out two weeks earlier than expected, and I need to scramble to get my cable and Internet connected and find a new roommate sooner than immediately. So here's an embarrassing snapshot of recent O's history, courtesy of Alabama's favorite son, southpaw Eric DuBose.

The date was March 22, 2005. The place was Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Just months after Sidney Ponson's legal problems in his native Aruba (apparently they frown upon punching judges), DuBose, who was expected to contend for the fifth spot in the Oriole rotation, was pulled over and charged with Driving Under the Influence. He had apparently come close to sideswiping a car on the side of the road, swerved across the center line, and when pulled over, he reeked of alcohol and had watery eyes and slurred speech. But here's the kicker: when asked to recite the alphabet, he refused. His excuse? "I'm from Alabama. We have a different alphabet."

As an indicator of how pitching-starved the Birds have been in recent years, he pitched in fifteen games in 2005, and two more in 2006. But that was the end of the line for him in the major leagues. He never did explain the intricacies of the Alabamian alphabet.