a) He just got traded from the White Sox to the Orioles, and he knows that he looks ridiculous with his bare head and pinstriped jersey on a card that says "Orioles".
b) He spent the bulk of his time in Chicago playing second base and third base, positions that are well spoken for in Baltimore at the hands of Messrs. Johnson and Robinson. So he's just trying to figure out where he fits in with the Birds. (Hint: left field.)
c) Some fortune teller just told him that he'll make history as the first player to ever lead off a postseason series with a home run, doing so against Mets ace Tom Seaver in the opener of the 1969 World Series...but that some day he would have to share that distinction with a rodent-faced little dirtball named Dustin Pedroia.
d) Not only is this card woefully miscut, but whoever owned it for the first four decades of its existence allowed it to be creased, dinged, and scratched. Is that any way to treat an All-Star and the leadoff hitter for the 1970 World Champs?
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