The next time you start to fret about the latest unimaginative parallel set or gimmicky fake-error or variation card, just remember that it could always be worse. Much worse. Some synergistic dork copy writer at Fleer could be trying to cook up "edgy" verses to appeal to the cool kids. If you've never had the unintentionally hilarious experience of reading the back of a Skybox Thunder card, peep at this beautiful turn of phrase about Moose:
"You've been starrin' with the Birds of Baltimore for years. Yeah, the bird, bird, bird, the bird's the word."
Wow. Nothing says hip like droppin' the "g" from the ends of your words. Not to mention quoting "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen. You know, a novelty song that was popular in 1963. Way to stay ahead of the curve, Fleer.
I shudder to think about how much of this goofy stuff I would have bought if I were actively collecting in high school.