Vintage Fridays: Paul Mitchell, 1976 Topps #393

When his company bought Topps, and again this summer when they effectively re-established a baseball card monopoly by negotiating exclusive rights with Major League Baseball, jut-browed tyrant Michael Eisner smarmed about his altruistic desire to bring baseball card collecting back to the "kids". Just reading his warmed-over corporate speak made me want to take a long, hot shower. Well, riddle me this, Mr. Disney: if baseball cards were such a pure, child-friendly pursuit in the good old days, just how do you explain this utterly indecent offering from three decades past? Where did that photographer have to be positioned to get such an intimate and extensive angle on Paul Mitchell's special area? Which editor at Topps looked at this photo and said, "Yes! Here's a 25-year-old kid who just went 13-1 between Rochester and Baltimore, someone so desirable that he will help the Orioles land Reggie Jackson in a trade. The world is his. This photo, this gray polyester expanse, says it all!"

To think, most of you probably assumed that Billy Ripken was the most licentious Oriole to ever pose for a baseball card.