Orioles Card "O" the Day

An intersection of two of my passions: baseball cards and the Baltimore Orioles. Updated daily?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Jerry Hairston, Jr., 2000 Pacific Crown Collection #32

(Okay, I'm posting this a bit early. I'm not about to deprive myself of sleep just to watch those chump Yankees clinch it.)

So, now Jerry Hairston, Jr. has a World Series ring. Good for him, I guess.

Alright, there's no sense in wallowing in bitterness and self-pity. I'd like to congratulate the new world champions.

Kudos to the whiny, rag-armed catcher who pees on his hands.

Thumbs up to the phony, corporate, choker first baseman.

Job well done for the overhyped, bland-as-hell, power-deficient shortstop.

Take a bow, you purple-lipped, self-centered, steroid-abusing third baseman.

Pat yourself on the back, you dopey, obnoxious frat boy right fielder. That wacky mohawk sure distracted everyone from your .130 postseason average.

Bravo to the cro-Magnon, philandering left fielder.

Three cheers for the monstrously ugly designated hitter with the vast pornography collection.

Bully for you, HGH-abusing, stool-pigeon veteran starting pitcher.

And of course, a hearty huzzah to the fist-pumping, drunk-driving, fly-chasing relief pitcher.

But just remember that none of you could have done it without your skeletal, micromanaging prig of a skipper or your doddering, tyrannical plutocrat owner. You truly are the best team that a half-a-billion-dollar offseason orgy can buy.

May you all rot.

14 comments:

night owl said...

Absolutely.

HandyAndy said...

I concur...Yuck the Fankees.

PeteLevin said...

Orioles Card O the Day, has officially clinched being my favorite blog this evening.

jacobmrley said...

every time the yankees win, i die a little inside...

BaltimoreSportsFan said...

That was just awesome.

Bo said...

Too bad the Yankees don't have the high moral fiber of those fine young men in Baltimore and their classy, intelligent owner who has more money than Steinbrenner but no idea how to spend it.
BTW - thanks for the cards! And I enjoy your blog except for the anti-Yankee whining!

Kevin said...

Thanks all!

Bo, I'm glad you don't take it personally. Now that the World Series has mercifully ended, I can get back to a more even-tempered focus.

dayf said...

Ahhh, Catharsis...

White Sox Cards said...

I have to live with this thought: Nick Swisher, World Champion.

:::shudder:::

Commish said...

Kevin, I'm with you in every aspect of your post save one. Derek Jeter. He's played very well for a very long time. In a town like New York where everything is significantly magnified he's never had a real hint of scandal around him. The Jeter hype is the product of where he plays, not anything he promotes. Yup, he's bland but so was Brooks. I hate to admit it, but I like Derek Jeter.

Lemme know if I need to mail back my Oriole Fan Club card.

Jeff Bunnell said...

Talk about opposite ends of the universe...I have waited 9 years for this day to come. I get that you don't like the Yankees, but is it just because of the Orioles/Yankees rivalry? (Is there one?)

No one is blasting the Orioles or their great history...why stomp on the Yankees?

Shane said...

The Yankees are an easy target but I don't feel any better when the Red Sox or Cardinals win. Would be great if teams such as the O's, Royals and Pirates were back in the playoffs but by and large it's the same teams.

Anonymous said...

Jeff - one of the most upsetting things to Orioles fans about the Orioles-Yankees rivalry is that Yankees fans often don't realize it exists and has for a long time. Ask anyone in Baltimore if you're in doubt.

Kevin said...

Bob - I admire your honesty. My biggest gripe with Jeter is the fawning media coverage of him, which isn't really his fault anyhow.

Jeff - Congrats to you. What can I say? The root of "fan" is "fanatic", and I'm just irrational when it comes to the Yankees. Chalk it up to the $480 million offseason splurge, the scores of obnoxious Yankee fans who storm into Camden Yards every summer, and of course Jeffrey Freaking Maier. The Yankees are the champs, and they're grown men. I think they can withstand the abuse.

Shane - It's a broken system, and the Yanks use it to their greatest advantage.

Anon - Precisely. It might not be on the overblown level of Yanks/Sox, but there's a history here. 1980, 1996, the brawl in 1998...these all spring directly to mind.