Marty Cordova, 2002 Upper Deck Victory #103

Buyer's remorse, illustrated.

Jeff Conine and Jason Johnson, 2002 Upper Deck Victory #11

I know that pitcher wins aren't the most precise statistic, but you don't have to look much further than Jason Johnson's team-leading 10 wins to puzzle out the fate of the 2001 Orioles. When a team wins 63 games total (against 98 losses), there aren't many W's to go around. That was a pretty brutal team, all things considered. Buddy Groom was the leading fireman with a whopping 11 saves, Jay Gibbons and Chris Richard tied for the club lead with 15 home runs, Cal Ripken, Jr. sputtered to a .276 on-base percentage in his final season...yuck. At least Jeff Conine had a pretty solid year, with his .311 average and .386 on-base percentage.

Man, I hope the Orioles don't go back to being crappy next year.

Jerry Hairston, Jr., 2002 Upper Deck Victory #112

Hey, what's up, Jerry Hairston? Oh, nothing. Just hanging out. How's by you?

Josh Towers, 2002 Upper Deck Victory #114

I just learned that Josh Towers is pitching in the major leagues, in 2009, for the A.L. East-leading Yankees. I can't even think of anything snarky to say about that, since the Orioles lost 10-0 to the Red Sox and I'm running on three hours of sleep. That Monday night power nap had to fuel me through my first day of work at the Social Security Administration, which was actually several hours worth of tutorials from various folks about all of the stuff that we as federal government employees absolutely cannot do. Think of the Simpsons episode where Bart Simpson tries to get his pocket knife certification from the Junior Campers: "'Don't Do What Donny Don't Does'. They could have made this clearer." So, we must live to fight another day.

(On the plus side, the commute to work is much more favorable, even with Beltway traffic. Also, most of the litany of speakers were at least skilled and witty enough at their jobs to make the presentations more palatable.)