Rich Hill, 2009 Topps Updates and Highlights #UH29

Sometimes, you dig into a box of cards and come out with a reminder that Rich Hill, Baltimore Oriole used to be a thing. Looking at his delivery in this photo, I'm not sure how the lefty won three games for the O's in 2009. His 7.80 ERA in 57.2 innings, however, makes a bit more sense. Yes, I'm picking on Rich. This is obviously a spring training picture, and he could just be doing some long toss...but from the mound? Maybe. I don't know nearly as much about baseball as I'd like to think.

Hill seemed to find his niche as a lefty relief specialist for the Red Sox, but he couldn't stay healthy. From 2010-2012, he posted a cumulative 1.14 ERA in Boston, but saw action in just 40 games comprising 31.2 innings. He went to Cleveland in 2013 and made it into 63 games last season, but his 38.2 innings did not go so smoothly: 38 hits, 29 walks, and a 6.28 ERA. Rich re-signed with Boston this spring, but is biding his time at AAA Pawtucket, where he has a 3.62 ERA and 1.17 WHIP in 17 appearances. At 34, it may seem like time is running out for Hill to establish himself...but he is left-handed, so he'll probably get a few more chances in the majors before all is said and done.

Adam Jones, 2009 Topps Updates and Highlights #UH31

With the Orioles starting July on a skid, it's the perfect time for a diversion...hey, look at that! The All-Star rosters were unveiled yesterday! For once, the O's have something to celebrate as the Midsummer Classic approaches. After years of obligatory "gotta pick somebody" selections like George Sherrill and Ty Wigginton, the 2012 club is sending THREE players to Kansas City next week: center fielder Adam Jones (.302 AVG, .902 OPS, 19 HR, 42 RBI), catcher Matt Wieters (.249/.331/.440, 11 HR, 38 RBI, 38% caught stealing rate), and closer Jim Johnson (1.30 ERA, 0.78 WHIP, 23 SV). It's the second All-Star nod for both Jones and Wieters, and the first for Johnson. The last time the Birds had more than one guy on the squad was 2005, when Brian Roberts, Miguel Tejada, and B. J. Ryan all joined the party in Detroit. (That's just what this season needed: another parallel to the disastrous '05 campaign.)

But wait! There's (possibly) more! Starting pitcher Jason Hammel, who leads the O's staff with an 8-3 record, a 3.29 ERA, and 89 strikeouts in 93 innings, is one of five American League pitchers in the running for the Final Vote competition. With Japanese star Yu Darvish of the Rangers on the ballot, the odds seem to be stacked against Hammel, but if you want to show him your support, vote here. Even if Jason gets shut out, the Orioles will still have three times as many All-Stars as the Red Sox, and that's something right there.

Cesar Izturis, 2009 Topps Updates and Highlights #UH254

I hope you liked yesterday's goofy American League predictions. Here, have some National League stuff!

Atlanta Braves: Chipper Jones’ final season is marred by the discovery that he no longer has knees – no cartilage, no bone, no muscle, nothing. He still hits .305 with 23 home runs in 108 games.

Miami Marlins: Owner Jeffrey Loria outdoes himself by ordering a fire sale of all of the team’s stars and using the money saved on player salaries to commission abstract sculptures to fill the empty seats in the new ballpark.

New York Mets: The Mets will be shocked to discover that Jason Bay has been stranded on a deserted island since December 2009. The “Jason Bay” who has been playing for New York for the past two seasons was actually four possums stacked one on top of the other.

Philadelphia Phillies: Philly’s hopes of another Eastern division championship are dashed when the United States suddenly shifts from a representative democracy to a Logan’s Run-style dystopia.

Washington Nationals: 19 year-old phenom Bryce Harper makes his much-anticipated debut in mid-May. Not only is he the league’s leading vote-getter for the All-Star Game, he is also voted “Most Punchable”.

Chicago Cubs: In a scene reminiscent of the false-identity scandals involving Marlins pitcher Juan Carlos Oviedo (a.k.a. Leo Nunez) and Indians pitcher Roberto Hernandez Heredia (a.k.a. Fausto Carmona), Cubs second baseman Darwin Barney admits that he has been using an alias. His actual name is Dagwood Gerbert. He claims that he changed it because it was “just too silly”.

Cincinnati Reds: GM Walt Jocketty obtains a court order barring manager Dusty Baker from all team facilities after Baker switches Aroldis Chapman from a reliever to a starter back to a reliever and back to a starter over the course of a single weekend.

Houston Astros: Several players admit to having frequent nightmares in which they show up to play National League Central opponents only to discover that they’re supposed to be playing in the American League West already.

Milwaukee Brewers: Robin Yount boosts team morale by shaving his mustache and attaching it to Cesar Izturis’ face with Krazy Glue while the utility infielder naps in the clubhouse.

Pittsburgh Pirates: In an ill-advised move to increase attendance, the club changes their name to the Steelers.

St. Louis Cardinals: The defending World Series champs miss the playoffs altogether after the Rally Squirrel is killed and eaten by ESPN baseball personality John Kruk.

Arizona Diamondbacks: The entire club is mortified to learn that the color they’ve been referring to as “Sedona red” is actually just brick red.

Colorado Rockies: Jamie Moyer spends a few weeks on the disabled list in July after getting some rust scraped off of his left shoulder.

Los Angeles Dodgers: In a new take on the old Boston Braves pitching staff of “Spahn and Sain and pray for rain”, L.A. fans adopt the slogan “Kershaw and Kemp, plus Larry, Moe, and Shemp”.

San Diego Padres: The Friars increase their community outreach by hosting a marathon. The 26.2 mile course consists of a single lap around the Petco Park outfield.

San Francisco Giants: New outfielder Melky Cabrera is shunned by his teammates after repeatedly calling the Giants' stadium PacBell Park.

Chris Tillman, 2009 Topps Updates and Highlights #UH108

As of yesterday evening, the Baltimore Orioles' 2010 season has come to an end. For the first time in years, the end was bittersweet in that it came too soon. I figured that I would try to process this bizarre and fractured season by picking one statistic for each player that tells the story of their season, and break it up into a few posts. Maybe it'll be a train wreck. But I'll give you a sample tonight.

Chris Tillman: 5.2 BB/9 IP. Many Orioles fans were baffled by the team's use of the 22-year-old from the get-go. He was optioned to AAA Norfolk (where he'd already had a dominant 18-game run last year) on Opening Day, passed over for the less-accomplished David Hernandez based on a few spring training innings. When multiple starters faltered, he was recalled in late May and given four whole starts to establish himself. Besieged by bad luck and command issues, he went 0-3 with an 8.40 ERA. He was sent back to Norfolk for nearly a month. In his first start back with the O's, he no-hit Texas for six and one-third innings, shutting them down and spoiling Cliff Lee's Rangers debut. But he gave up eight runs in three disastrous innings the next time out, and was sent back to Norfolk with hair-trigger quickness when Kevin Millwood returned from the disabled list. His exile lasted from mid-July through to September, by which time Buck Showalter hopefully injected some common sense into the proceedings by running Chris out to the mound five consecutive times on his turn. The youngster was still maddeningly inconsistent, but he ended the year on a high note last Friday with a two-hit, two-walk, seven-strikeout performance in seven innings. Ultimately, he'll have to trust his stuff and cut out the walks. If he's given a whole year in the majors without having to look over his shoulder every four days, maybe he'll put it all together.