???, 1992 Confex Baseball Enquirer #42

I post this card tonight as an appeal for help. This is one of three "Baseball Enquirer" cards that I received from David at Indians Cards. Always. I know who the other two are supposed to be (Jim Palmer and Billy Ripken - I'll have to show you that one later), but this fella has me 100% stumped. The interview on the back is no help at all; it mentions the mystery man being a submarine pitcher and an Australian native. It then conflates these two facts into a lame joke about "Down Under", hyuk hyuk. The only submariner I remember pre-Chad Bradford was Todd Frohwirth, but the last time I checked Milwaukee wasn't the Outback. According to Baseball Reference, there weren't any Aussie pitchers in major league history prior to 1993 (former Yankee scum Graeme Lloyd was the first). I only found one checklist for this set online, and it doesn't identify the subject of card #42. So what gives? Is this actually supposed to be Frohwirth, and they just made up the Australian stuff out of whole cloth for the sake of a terrible pun? Or am I just having a mental block? The truth is out there. I hope.

Jim Palmer, 1992 Confex Baseball Enquirer #36

Just in time for my family vacation (we leave tomorrow for a week "Down the Ocean"), I received a fun package of O's cards from David the Tribe Cards collector. The most entertaining one of the bunch is probably this card of Mr. James Alvin Palmer. Of course, you won't find his name anywhere on it. Confex, the company that produced these cards, did not have a license with either Major League Baseball or the Players Association, so they left the name plate blank and provided player-specific logos, like Jim's inexplicably pink pair of undies above. Each card back has a mock interview with the player depicted on the front. For giggles, let's take a peek at Palmer's Q n' A.

Q: You surprised us last year with your comeback attempt. Will you be making another one this season?

A: No. I've taken the uniform off for good. From now on I'll be putting all my efforts into the color commentary work and selling underwear.

Q: So while we'll continue seeing nearly all of you in the magazine ads, we won't see any more of you on the mound?

A: Not evenly (sic) briefly.

Q: Thanks for your time. Nice shorts.

A: Thanks.

Okay, so it's not nearly wordy enough for "Cakes", it's got some bad puns, and the grammar is a little off. But the caricature is spot-on and pretty darn funny, if you ask me. Thanks for the surprise envelope, David!

Now for a little shop talk. I take a great amount of pride in the fact that I've only missed one day since I started this blog on January 1 (and I made up for it with an extra post the next day). Sure, I've gone a bit past midnight a couple of times, but they're still up before the day ends on the West Coast. ;) Anyway, with the magic of scheduled posting, I've scanned and written up a card for each day that I'll be away. I had to keep it short and quick, so the theme will be This Day In Orioles History. I hope you'll enjoy, and I'll be back with you next Sunday night!

P.S.: While I will be hitting up the beach, I plan to wear a less revealing swimsuit than Jim Palmer might. It's in the best interests of all parties.