Oh, Sidney Ponson. Your 17th season in professional baseball promises to be the most pointless and perversely entertaining of them all. With spring training in full swing, you've finally latched on to another club. So which franchise was ensnared by your flabby, drunken, petulant siren song? It's probably not one of the six MLB clubs who have previously released you, of course. Let's see here...I just had it...ah yes!The Long Island Ducks of the independent Atlantic League.
That would be the very same Long Island Ducks who recently employed Jay Gibbons, who is a superstar and a model citizen when compared to the likes of Sir Sidney. A man who has been at home on the mounds of Oriole Park and Yankee Stadium will toe the rubber at Citibank Park, with its robust capacity of 6,002. Somewhat hilariously, his manager will be the glad-handing, smarmy Gary Carter.
If you live in or near any of the Atlantic League outposts - York, Lancaster, Waldorf, Camden, Somerset, Newark, Bridgeport, and Long Island - get your popcorn at the ready. Aruba's Most Wanted is coming.
Oh Dear God, thank you! I live within boo'ing distance of the York Revolution's stadium.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to boo the everliving shit out of him.
I live in Lancaster, so maybe I'll hit up a Ducks/Barnstomers game. I saw John Rocker pitch in Lancaster before -- hopefully I'll add another washed up "star" pitcher to the list.
ReplyDeleteHide your beer and judges, Sir Sid is coming to town!
ReplyDeleteRyan E - I haven't been through York in nearly a year. Have they put up the "Welcome to York: Home of Mark Hendrickson" sign yet?
ReplyDeleteWilliam - With any luck, maybe the Barnstormers will signed the freshly-released Daniel Cabrera to oppose him.
Ryan - Zing!
He's the John Daly of baseball. Time for Sidney to go buy a bar or something.
ReplyDeleteBob - I like that. The John Daly of baseball...except maybe with less fashion sense or self-awareness.
ReplyDelete