Get out your paper hats and streamers, because today is Jesse Orosco's birthday! Contrary to popular belief, the wizened southpaw is not turning 87 today. No, Jesse is only 57...he's still a baby, relatively speaking. The one-time Oriole made his last appearance on a big league mound over a decade ago, finishing his 24-year big league career in 2003 with the Twins team that had drafted him in the second round way back in 1978. But I'd like to see him get one last crack at it. After all, Satchel Paige was
at least 58 years old when he tossed three shutout innings for the Athletics on
September 25, 1965. Surely Orosco has enough bullets remaining in that left arm to make one or two of his customary one-batter trips from the bullpen. Roster spots may be too dear during the bulk of the season, but that's the beauty of expanded September rosters. Imagine a playoff-hopeful team like the Cardinals or Tigers or (fingers crossed) the Orioles being able to call upon the most battle-tested LOOGY in baseball history to shut down an opposing lefty slugger in a high-stakes game. Alternately, what better way for a dead-end basement-dweller to goose their attendance numbers than to trade in the promise of seeing MLB's first five-decade pitcher? I'm sure ol' number 47 could be convinced. He's still the all-time leader in total games pitched by a comfortable margin (1,252 to runner-up Mike Stanton's 1,178), but with the increasing hyper-specialization of relief pitchers and the advances being made in sports medicine, a little bit of extra insurance couldn't hurt. So why not?
(Yes, I'm being serious. At least 95% serious. Baseball is just better with Jesse Orosco.)
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