Hayden Penn, 2005 Topps Updates and Highlights #UH

Today, it finally happened. The Orioles won their 81st game of the season, clinching their first non-losing year since (all together now) 1997. Yep, with their next win, the Birds will officially have their first winning team of the millennium. The wonderful thing is that such a modest milestone seems secondary and nearly inconsequential now. No, the goalposts have moved, and the O's have legitimate postseason hopes. Their 14-inning war of attrition with the Rays this afternoon (and early evening) gave Baltimore a sweep over their closest pursuer in the race for the American League's second wild card spot, but simultaneously afforded them a share of first place in the East with the sputtering Yankees. The regular season is getting shorter and shorter, and there are only 19 more games to cross off of the schedule. They're doing it without a true "ace" starting pitcher, and they're doing it without Brian Roberts, Nolan Reimold, and now without Nick Markakis. I love rooting for this team.

But on such a grand occasion, as I sprinkle dirt upon the grave of the 14-year losing skid, I find myself wanting to toast not only those suffering and star-crossed cornerstones who have been reduced to spectators, but to each and every one of the overmatched players who defined an era of infamy in Charm City.

So here's to Vladimir Guerrero, Sammy Sosa, Steve Trachsel, and the rest of the has-beens.

Here's to Matt Riley, Hayden Penn, Ryan Minor, and their failed prospect brethren.

Raise a glass to Sidney Ponson, Eric DuBose, Julio Lugo, and their criminal ilk.

Tip your hat to Danys Baez, Jorge Julio, Mike Timlin, and all of the bullpen arsonists.

Bow to Brandon Fahey, Rick Bauer, Brian Burres, and the other roster fillers.

It's been a hell of a ride, with the emphasis squarely on "hell". We're hopping off now.