Tony Tarasco, 1996 Fleer Orioles #17

I'm sure you've all been waiting for my level-headed, well-considered, and erudite response to the controversial home run hit by Francisco Cervelli in last night's rain-soaked Orioles-Yankees game. I've given the matter lots of careful thought, and I am of the following opinion:

AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH! DEAR GOD, IT HAPPENED AGAIN! What in the bloody Hell have I done to deserve half a lifetime of torment like this? Why did it have to be Orioles-Yankees again, and couldn't the O's at least come back to win this one? They're 55-85, throw them a damned bone! Damn you, Jeffrey Maier Jeffrey Maier Jeffrey MaierrrrrrrrraaaaaAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

If anyone needs me, I'll be grinding my teeth into dust.