Zach Britton, 2011 Topps Allen and Ginter #97

Sheesh. Spoiler alert: no Orioles in today's six packs, so I had to recycle the above image of Zach Britton. Now, are you ready for MORE GINT-A-CUFFS? Don't worry, I'll end it all tomorrow. The box break, I mean. Not my life. It's not THAT bad.

PACK 13


53 Chipper Jones
300 Ryan Braun - Dude's 15 months younger than me. Hello, my own creeping mortality.
114 Brandon Phillips - Love this guy. Can't believe the Indians traded him to Cincy for some pitcher named Jeff Stevens.
77 Rafael Furcal

AGR-BG Brett Gardner Bat Relic +10 Relic, x0.5 Yankee player = +5 total. DOUBLE TURDS.
239 Brett Myers Mini Base - And a dud mini of a wife-beater. Joy.

HH70 Troy Tulowitzki Hometown Heroes (Sunnyvale, CA) +1 Hometown Heroes, +2 Any Favorite Player = +3 total.


Pack 13 Total = 8 points. Box Total =106 points. Unlucky number 13. What did I do to deserve that putrid pack?

PACK 14

66 Starlin Castro +2 Any Favorite Player
113 Miguel Montero
214 Elvis Andrus

BHS-8 Cody Ross Baseball Highlight Sketches +3 The back of this card references game-winning RBIs, specifically the four that Ross had in the Giants' first seven playoff games. Goofy 1980s stats for the win.

AGR-MC Matt Cain Jersey Relic +10 Relic - That's more like it. My favorite color and everything!
94 Josh Rodriguez RC Mini Base - Back-to-back no-point minis. Grumble.

HH Jimmy Rollins Hometown Heroes (Oakland, CA) +1 Oaktown! Joe Morgan and Frank Robinson are mentioned on the back, but not Oakland native and former A's employee Hammer. Shame.

Pack 14 Total = 16 points. Box Total = 122 points. The best pack of the box yet, points-wise. Will I pull hits in three straight packs?

PACK 15


195 Tommy Hanson
154 Todd Helton
111 Pablo Sandoval - Can't get enough of the Kung-Fu Panda.
232 Picabo Street - For you whippersnappers that don't remember this Olympic skiing medalist, her name is pronounced "peek-a-boo". Aren't you glad your parents were boring?
59 Jeremy Jeffress RC

350 Joe Mauer SP +2 Short Print

UG3 Waverly Hills Sanatorium Uninvited Guests Mini +3 Creepy little ghost girl? Thousands of deaths? Louisville? Doesn't sound like my ideal vacation spot.

MMF22 Ada Lovelace Minds That Made the Future +2 Lord Byron's daughter apparently programmed an early computer. But her dad was accompanied to college by a dancing bear. Which was the more enduring contribution to humankind?

Pack 15 Total = 7 points. Box Total = 129 points. Fair-to-middlin', but I can feel the prize slipping away.

PACK 16

285 Alex Rios
57 Derek Jeter -1 Yankee card - It figures. Five zillion Yankee fans roaming the Earth, and not one of you could join this contest and claim your Captain as a Favorite Player.

256 Hunter Pence +2 Any Favorite Player - Thank you muchly, CommishBob!
209 Guy Fieri- Urgh. Just threw up a bit. If you're blessed enough not to know this clown, allow me to ruin your night.

AOM9 Placoderms Ascent of Man +1 - Armored, sharp-toothed fish? Thank goodness they're extinct. Nature, you scary.

303 Jaime Garcia SP +2 Short Print
227 Lucas Duda Black Bordered Mini +3 I will NOT sing Camptown Races...
HH50 Josh Hamilton Hometown Heroes (Raleigh, NC) +1 Hometown Heroes, +2 Any Favorite Player = +3 total. I like.
Crack the Code Ad Card

Pack 16 Total = 10 points. Box Total = 139 points. If you count the Jeter penalty, six of those eight cards  were worth points. That's not something you see often.

PACK 17


199 Jake Peavy
144 Jorge Posada -1 Yankee card - Flames...flames...on the sides of my face...
64 Ricky Romero
263 Mark Trumbo RC - That's a fun name to say. TRUMBOOOOO
201 Andrew Romine RC

347 Josh Thole SP +2 Short Print - I was starting to think I was going to lose points on this pack.

143 Carlos Zambrano A&G Ad Back Mini +2 Welcome back, Old Planter.

HH53 Justin Verlander Hometown Heroes (Manakin Sabot, VA) +1


Pack 17 Total = 4 points. Box Total = 143 points. That sure was an equalizer to all that went on in the last pack.

PACK 18

62 Alfonso Soriano
50 Carl Crawford - I wish my Birthday Buddy hadn't joined the Pink Hats in Boston. Makes it much harder to like him.
175 Jose Bautista - 85 home runs in his last 252 games. Ridiculous.
169 Dan Haren

AGR-PS Pablo Sandoval Bat Relic +10 Relic Card - Any Giants fans want to make a deal?

SRU6 The Human Blockhead Step Right Up! Mini +3 I'm sorry, is something wrong with his face? I was busy admiring the handlebar mustache and pointy beard.

HH5 Chase Utley Hometown Heroes (Long Beach, CA) +1


Pack 18 Total = 14 points. Box Total = 157 points. Bob is in the lead with 232 points. With all three hits already pulled, what are the odds that 78 points are waiting for me in the last 6 packs? 13 points a pack? The fat lady is warmin' up.