Scott Erickson, 1998 Donruss Silver Press Proof #242

There are many valuable pieces of advice that I can give fellow collectors for taking proper care of your card collection. You probably know most of the basics (store your cards in Ultra-Pro binder sheets, keep them out of the reach of children and pets, don't place them in damp areas, etc.). But perhaps the most important pointer that I can offer is this: if you own large quantities of cards from the late 1990s, do not take them outside. If you do, a flock of magpies will be attracted to their shiny, foil-coated, die-cut, holographic nuttiness and will descend upon you, pecking at your soft flesh and your juicy eyes until you relinquish your grip on the glittery goods.

Consider yourself forewarned.