Buddy Groom, 2002 Upper Deck 40 Man #206

You may ask yourself, what possesses a thirty-seven-year-old man to go by "Buddy"? When you think of that moniker, you may call to mind the '80s plush novelty My Buddy, or maybe even the Beverly Hillbillies antics of Buddy Ebsen or the rubber-faced comedy of Buddy Hackett. It's certainly a name that would leave a player open to ribbing in the frat-house culture of the baseball clubhouse. But consider the alternative...

The man pictured above was born Wedsel Gary Groom, Jr. It's one thing to live with the burden of such a hideous name; but to pass it on to your defenseless child?! That's pretty low. I wonder how well Buddy gets along with his folks. Wedsel is immediately evocative of two things: weasel, which is just a funny word and a pretty lowly member of the animal kingdom; and Edsel, the disastrous Ford car model of 1958 through 1960.

Yeah, I think I'd go with "Buddy" if I were Mister Groom.